IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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