so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
