She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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