oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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