Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Do you remember whose house we're in?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
