Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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