I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
