i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
