he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
