ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
