Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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