That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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