I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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