Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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