On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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