Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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