are you so shy because you have an std?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
