then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
