I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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