garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
