uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
