I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize