she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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