did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
kristin has been a bad kristin
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
