Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize