Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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