i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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