If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
