I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
