So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
