I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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