I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
