i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just had sex on a roof
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
