Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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