Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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