The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
