Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
