I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
