Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
