If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Hippo gnu deer
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
