just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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