He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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