hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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