PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
