Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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