Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
your room smells of hookers.
And success
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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