True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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