He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
