Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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