Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
