If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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