this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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