But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
