id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
