finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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