no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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