don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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