i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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