The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
