I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize
