do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
that is very illegal...i love you.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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