My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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